Dead and Broken
by akasuki121
Summary: [Songfic]Suffering from another bout of depression and insomnia, Yoji struggled with the task of facing his demons and trying to keep the woman he loves.


Intro: It is a summer night the city of Tokyo, Japan. A major heat wave has hit the city and nighttime has yet to cool down the tempers of the people or the streets. Suffering from another bout of depression and insomnia, Yoji struggled with the task of facing his demons and trying to keep the woman he loves. Oh yeah, it's a songfic to Godsmack's Dead and Broken. __

_Too many things I've never spoken_

_I'm not feeling fine_

Lightning crashed in the distance against silver and purple clouds. A crimson moon's light shone eerily through a thunder ravaged night sky. No rain fell. It was too dry. The sky was, for the most part, clear of clouds. One could see the stars as they twinkled in the darkness. Again, a fireball lit up the sky.

Yoji sighed and lit the last cigarette in his pack. He leaned against the window sill and crumbled the wrapper. He tossed it somewhere. Where, he didn't care. He stared into the night sky. The clock in the town square chimed twice. He was hot and he suffered from insomnia. It wasn't the first time and promised not to be the last. Sleep refused to come and claim him. He closed his eyes and let the grey ashes fall onto the sill.

"What the hell is wrong with me?"

His question fell on deaf ears. Yoji sat in silence for awhile. He took another puff of his smoke. He lifted his arm and rested his head on it. The limb cushioned it from the harsh wood. Caught up in the darkness and how it reflected his soul, he didn't hear the bed shift and the floor boards creak.

"Come back to bed, love."

He shivered at the sound of her voice and kept still. Silky smooth arms wrapped around him and held him close, carefully avoiding the cigarette. He sighed a bit and let her chestnut hair rest on his shoulder. The euphonious voice whispered into his ear.

"Yoji, what's wrong?"

Green eyes opened as he studied her face in the reflection of the window pane. She had blue eyes, long curly chestnut hair that framed her face, and pale perfect lips. The blond turned to her and saw the concern envelope those azure eyes. He gave her a half-hearted smile. She kissed him gently.

"Aiko, I'm fine. I promise."

She nodded, still holding onto him. Her grip tightened. Aiko rested her head against his. Her heart wrenched as she saw the sparkle of tears in his emerald eyes. But she kept quiet.

_I never told you what to do_

_I never made you a promise that you could hold me to_

_That'll be the day you see me crying_

Yoji pulled his head away and turned to the side. Her head lowered and she turned to the bed. She sighed as she walked back and climbed in. She didn't want to see him like this. It hurt too much. She couldn't watch him cry. Aiko pulled the white satin sheets up and turned to the door. Her eyes closed as she held back her own tears. She was losing him and she knew it.

The blond finished his cigarette and gently tapped his head against the glass. He wanted to know why he pushed her away. Why he always pushed her away. It was something about nights like these that made him so depressed. She was such an angel to put up with all of his bull shit. Love is blind.

He lifted up the window and climbed out onto the fire escape. Up he climbed until he reached the roof. He felt a breeze catch him, tugging at his blue plaid boxers. It felt weird to still have those on. Yoji looked around. His chair sat there and called out to him. So he sat, head in hands, and wept. He didn't know why he did. He felt no pain. He felt no guilt. He felt no love. Nothingness consumed him.

_Everyday, I still say you're dead and broken_

_Everyday, I still say you're dead and broken_

_You're dead and broken_

His tears dried up in the heat. A sigh escaped his lips and he looked up at the stars. Each called out to him, a lover in their own right. He licked his lips. The moisture was fading and they began to crack. A whisper came before he could catch it.

"Asuka . . . Asuka."

Yoji looked down. Asuka was haunting him again. He still saw her in his dreams. Running because he pushed her away . . . he pushed her. Gun fire rang out and she fell. It was his fault. She died because of him.

He swore he could still feel her when he was alone. And he was alone, his golden hair moved gently, as if someone had brushed it back out of his face. He heard someone whisper.

"Yoji . . . ?"

Yoji jumped to his feet and looked around. No one was there. He sank down and closed his eyes again. Flashes of his past conquests flooded in and out of his mind. Some images went by quickly, their faces blurred. All had the same thing in common. Each one was crying.

_How many faces can you show me?_

_How many times can you be right?_

"Damn it! Why is this happening to me?!"

His hands turned into fists and he struck the ground in anger again and again. Each shot echoed into the night. He didn't stop until his knuckles became bloody. He looked at his hands. His blood stained hands. How many people has he killed with these? How much blood has been spilt? Innocent blood?

Yoji turned, hearing footsteps up the escape. He frowned until he saw it was Aiko. Her eyes were stained red. She looked at him, pleading, and stepped forward. She went slowly at first until she was off the metal and then broke out into a run. She ran to him.

"You shouldn't have come up here, Aiko. It's dangerous to be out on a night like this."

She looked at him and smiled. Aiko pulled him up to her and hugged his chest. The moon light surrounded him. Tears fell freely onto muscular flesh.

"Yoji, I . . . I love you."

_Another world of fantasy_

_Another reason for dramatizing everything_

_Taking it all in just one more time_

Yoji stared at her, stunned. He kissed her ferociously. It felt like the nightmare was finally lifting. Her fair fingers wrapped themselves around his neck and twirled his hair. Lightning crashed again. A pale blue tongue licked the sky. Aiko gasped and started to fall.

_I'm dying_

He removed his hand from her back. It was sticky and wet. "Aiko? Aiko?!!!" He cried out in the darkness. She lay in his arms gasping for air. A crimson pool spread around them. Tears fell onto her face. She reached up and tried to touch his cheek, but she was too weak.

"Yoji, I love you."

He kissed her hand and brought it up to his face. He looked into her eyes and tried to smile back at her. Her sparkle was fading. He kissed her lips.

"I love you too."

_Everyday, I still say you're dead and broken_

_Everyday, I still say you're dead and broken_

_You're dead and broken_

Her chest heaved up once more and grew still. Her hand fell limp to her side. Yoji put her head down gently and closed her eyes. He looked around at the other roof tops. Laughter rang in his head. He knew that voice. Hatred pulsed thru his veins. Vengeance became his soul.

((Oh, I love you too. I didn't know you cared. Pity it took so long for you to show it.)) The laughter in Yoji's mind grew louder.

"Damn you, Schuldich! DAMN YOU!!!!"

_Sorry to see that you're underestimated lately_

_I'd rather be dead and broken than living in your grace_

_Everyday, I still say you're dead and broken_

The blond stood up, emerald eyes hardening to diamonds, with Aiko's cradled against his breast. He slowly walked down the escape. A plan hatched ever so carefully in his mind's eye. He will kill Schuldich. That monster wouldn't make it past sun up.

_Everyday, I still say you're dead and broken_

_You're dead and broken_

_You're dead and broken _

_You're dead and broken _

_You're dead and broken _

_You're dead and broken _

_You're dead and broken _

_You're dead and broken_

AN- All right people. This is my first song fic ever. Song lyrics are in italics and when Schuldich uses telepathy it is surrounded by the double parentheses. I love writing about Weiß. Please leave a word, even if it's to say that it sucked. But say who you are. I only take harsh criticism from people with back bones. Should I make a sequel? What say you?


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